oh, mom.

my mom has always had great confidence in my ability to do anything. and i know she was so proud when i received my final job offer to be an intelligence analyst. however, my health and general well-being have always been her utmost concern. my recurring stress-related stomach issues cause her great distress which is why the following conversation ensued...

-"hayley, i hope this new job doesn't stress you out too much..."

"well, mom. i don't really know if i can avoid stress all together...i think it comes with the job."

-"maybe you should do something less stressful...like, be a leg model! that would be less stressful!"

sure mom. i'll turn down the secure government job to be a LEG MODEL!

Bit-O-Honey

My mom is eating a piece of candy called "Bit-O-Honey" when my sister Kelly says "Ewww Mom, those are gross!" Mom's response..."Well, you're gross!" Best Response Ever Mom.

earlier that day I was driving down a busy road...

Mom: Katie, slow down! I don't understand why you are accelerating when ahead all of the cars are stopping. Seriously, How do you drive everyday without me?!
Me: Um, peacefully?

birth control

Sometimes moms can say wildly inappropriate things that are completely embarrassing and still have no idea what they've done.

My husband was at a drug store the other day and overheard a woman telling the pharmacist that she needed to refill her daughters birth control prescription because her daughter was quote "going back to college this week"...

The Village

We're driving around in Richmond apartment hunting for my sister, when we pass the Village Cafe. And my mom says "That place looks good, Have yall ever ate there before?"

We have taken my mom to this place at least one, maybe two, times. She can be a little forgetful.

wedding day

"chelsea clinton is getting married today.... she really lucked out, what a nice day for her!" - my mom

 

virginia woolf

This is a picture of my friend Christine drowning, which we texted to her mom with a phone number she wouldn't recognize.

Her mom's response:
"I thought it was supposed to be in the river."



Another great story submitted by my friend Katie (different Katie):

Mom and I went to the doctor about a skin discoloration on my neck. The doctor told us it was a mole and to be careful in the sun and come back in a year for it to be measured. The whole way home, mom kept saying "I can't believe it. That's so odd. I just can't believe it."
Finally, I say, "What is so hard to understand??"
And she said "How did you get mold on your neck???"
"Mom... she said MOLE not MOLD!"

television.

in response to anything on tv:

"oh, guys, come on.... what is this?"

<3 you mom. 

jay- z

having been born & raised in Canada, living in Europe for summers in high school and colleges, and moving to the UK for a year my mom says things funny. For instance, Z's are spoken as "zed".  here's a good commentary on "pop music" from the other day, while driving in the car.

 Peter (my brother): "Can we listen to something good?"
Mom: "Change it then."
--Peter changes the channel to hip-hop--
Mom: "Oh, turn this!! ...What is this?"
Me (sarcastically from the backseat): "Mom, it's your favorite, Jay-Z!"
Mom: "Yeah, Jay- ZED, my favorite!"

On a side note, my dad refers to all pop as "bubble gum music".

About My Mom...

I thought I'd start my first post with a bit about my mom. She got married at age 17, had 4 kids (all girls) by age 25. She gave up her career & sacrificed a lot to stay home and raise us all. She's pretty awesome and I love her to death, but man does she say some hilarious things. Here's just a few that have happened more recently:

Me: Mom, Do you think I should go blonde?
Mom: (huge smile on her face) Katie, you know I love ALL my girls blonde.
Kelly (my sister, the only brunette): Mom!!
Mom: Oh. (looks away)

Mom: I just want to go to one more fabric store.
Me (obviously bored out of my mind): No! Please!
Mom: I'll buy you a treat from 7-11...
(I am 22, and apparently she thinks I can still be bought off with a slurpee.)

Mom on dieting: You just have to get used to being hungry all the time.

Mom on nursing a new baby: I looked like a porn-o star.

And her most famous quote...
"Lips make the face. Never go out of the house without earrings and lip gloss."

Thanks mom...

our moms are funny

a few friends and i were trading interesting (to say the least) stories about the things our moms have said... so we came up with this idea. we need to share.
the intent of this blog is to post funny, informative, weird, & ridiculous things our moms say, or do.
all moms do it, they can't help it.  we love them for it.

so thank you to our moms... you are funny.