Context is Everything

So my mom has been taking classes in efforts of trying to get into Nursing school and finish her degree. We're all very proud of her. Last week was her Spring break so she and my dad went out of town for a few days. My dad kept telling everyone he was going on spring break with a college girl (yes he can be funny too). Well they came back on a thursday and the next night we were all at their house eating a big steak dinner and just talking at the dinner table. My parents were both talking about the vineyard they stayed at the the plantations they saw...suddenly my mom says something along the lines of:

"They really need those slaves!"

...all conversations stops as we all bust out laughing and wonder if she really thought about what she was saying. She went on to explain that the big plantations in VA would not have survived without free labor...but it was another classic "mom" moment.

oh, mom.

my mom has always had great confidence in my ability to do anything. and i know she was so proud when i received my final job offer to be an intelligence analyst. however, my health and general well-being have always been her utmost concern. my recurring stress-related stomach issues cause her great distress which is why the following conversation ensued...

-"hayley, i hope this new job doesn't stress you out too much..."

"well, mom. i don't really know if i can avoid stress all together...i think it comes with the job."

-"maybe you should do something less stressful...like, be a leg model! that would be less stressful!"

sure mom. i'll turn down the secure government job to be a LEG MODEL!

Bit-O-Honey

My mom is eating a piece of candy called "Bit-O-Honey" when my sister Kelly says "Ewww Mom, those are gross!" Mom's response..."Well, you're gross!" Best Response Ever Mom.

earlier that day I was driving down a busy road...

Mom: Katie, slow down! I don't understand why you are accelerating when ahead all of the cars are stopping. Seriously, How do you drive everyday without me?!
Me: Um, peacefully?

birth control

Sometimes moms can say wildly inappropriate things that are completely embarrassing and still have no idea what they've done.

My husband was at a drug store the other day and overheard a woman telling the pharmacist that she needed to refill her daughters birth control prescription because her daughter was quote "going back to college this week"...

The Village

We're driving around in Richmond apartment hunting for my sister, when we pass the Village Cafe. And my mom says "That place looks good, Have yall ever ate there before?"

We have taken my mom to this place at least one, maybe two, times. She can be a little forgetful.

wedding day

"chelsea clinton is getting married today.... she really lucked out, what a nice day for her!" - my mom

 

virginia woolf

This is a picture of my friend Christine drowning, which we texted to her mom with a phone number she wouldn't recognize.

Her mom's response:
"I thought it was supposed to be in the river."



Another great story submitted by my friend Katie (different Katie):

Mom and I went to the doctor about a skin discoloration on my neck. The doctor told us it was a mole and to be careful in the sun and come back in a year for it to be measured. The whole way home, mom kept saying "I can't believe it. That's so odd. I just can't believe it."
Finally, I say, "What is so hard to understand??"
And she said "How did you get mold on your neck???"
"Mom... she said MOLE not MOLD!"